Dehumanizing Urban Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That People Can’t Excuse

Dehumanizing Urban Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That People Can’t Excuse

A game show where two families compete for a cash prize by trying to find the most popular answers to a variety of questions about a month ago, one of my sisters tagged me in a video she recorded of Family Feud. In the episode she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the participants to respond to an extremely loaded statement: “Name reasons a lady might opt to be by having a chubby or fat man.”

The contestants’ answers end up supplying a funny round in the minds associated with participants, Steve Harvey, and presumably the viewers.

But my sister did share that is n’t video clip on her behalf Facebook page to garner laughs from her relatives and buddies. It had been quite contrary: my cousin ended up being mad in the round’s subject together with responses offered. My cousin penned:

“This actually bothers me personally! For this reason individuals think you need to be skinny/fit become stunning, to be desired, to be loved, also to deserve anything…this is never OK!”

My sister tagged me personally in this article once you understand my history in fat studies and sex studies (so when a fat person that is masculine, knowing I would personally concur together with her frustrations.

Image description: A screenshot for the Family Feud game board using the six most well known answers: “Fatty got money” (3out of 100 individuals surveyed), “She’s fat/digs food” (23/100), “She’ll look better” (12/100), “She’s in love” (9/100), “He’s warm/cuddly” (6/100), and “He won’t cheat” (4/100). The thing this specific round of Family Feud does correctly is summarize a lot of the unfortunate fables our society perpetuates about fat individuals — specifically, fat males — and relationships.

Nonetheless, calling down fatphobic urban myths ended up being clearly maybe not the game’s aim. Alternatively it perpetuated body terrorism against fat figures to get laughs that are cheap. Let’s proceed through each one of the top six many popular responses in order to better understand how they’re inaccurate and damaging to guys of size.

“Fatty Got Money!”: Fat Men Are Only Valuable For Their Money or Energy

The misconception: the fact this misconception is considered the most popular of this six provided responses — 3of the 100 individuals initially surveyed provided this or a similarly-worded solution — is troubling in itself. This myth is one thing we see throughout American culture, whether it is in films, politics, or culture that is popular.

The general assumption is that this fat man has to have money or some sort of power if a classically attractive person of any gender is with a fat man. Why else would a person who could presumably get with anybody they desired decide to get with a disgusting man that is fat right?

This type of idea is incredibly damaging for the great deal of fat males, putting each of their value as individuals in to the cash or energy they could or might not have.

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The reality: While you will find, needless to say, some individuals whom just seek relationships for cash or energy, the reality is that quite often, individuals will decide to get having a man that is fat they really wish to be with him. This misconception is a lot less frequently put on thin or “fit” males, unless of course that individual is well known to possess cash or energy. However it’s much easier for individuals to comprehend two thin or usually appealing people being together because they’re drawn to one another than when a skinny or typically appealing individual chooses become with a fat guy for any other less trivial reasons.

“She’s Fat/Digs Food”: Fat People Just Like Other Fat People

The myth: with this particular misconception, we see exactly just exactly how individuals make an effort to simply take away fat people’s agency. It means that fat individuals will simply be in a position to have relationships along with other fat individuals, because they only find other fat people attractive or that’s all they can “get”, in the most brutal of terms whether it’s.

Slipped into this misconception is just a relevant fatphobic misconception: that most fat individuals love for eating lots of meals, and all sorts of individuals who want to consume food are fat.

The facts: Put clearly, the presumption that fat individuals will just look for relationships along with other fat individuals is false. Humans — fat, thin, as well as in between — could be and sometimes are drawn to a wide number of people of all size and shapes. To assume that fat individuals will just ever be with fat individuals are at ab muscles least ignorant, or even entirely fatphobic and sizeist.

And also as for the basic indisputable fact that fatness is inherently correlated with (over)eating — that’s another misconception too.

“She’ll Look Better”: Fat Males Are Ugly

The misconception: All men that are fat based on this worldview, are inherently less appealing than just about any partner they might ever have. Such men’s lovers would just utilize them to look more appealing in contrast. This misconception helps make the assumption that, as previously mentioned above, no body could conceivably take a relationship by having a man that is fat they’re actually interested in him. Fat folks are merely tools to presumably make their non-fat) lovers feel more desirable.

The reality: just like some individuals might pursue a fat guy for cash or energy, some individuals might only pursue fat males to appear more desirable to other people. In fact, though, this is apparently less frequent than this solution will have us believe.

I’ll keep saying the purpose, even in the event I seem like a broken record: lots of people really find fat guys appealing!

“She’s In Love”

This is the sole answer that is truly mocking-free in the utmost effective responses regarding the board. That by itself is illustrative of this fatphobia that is entrenched display when you look at the remaining portion of the responses. In addition it is available in at 9/100, and thus away from 100 people surveyed, “She’s in love” ended up being the solution provided by only nine individuals.

Exactly what are fat males viewing likely to think of their health and their well worth as people?

He’s Warm/Cuddly”: Fat Men Are Great For Cuddling Although Not Intercourse

The misconception: this really is those types of “positive stereotypes” many of us make an effort to used to buttress their blatant bigotry. It’s somewhat similar to statements like “all Asians are smart” or “all homosexual men are stylish and confident.”

Fat men are stereotyped to be hot and cuddly, yet not much else from the “positive” part of stereotyping. As proof of this, one of many game show participants offered a solution that finished up perhaps perhaps perhaps not being in the board: that a lady would date a fat guy because he had been great at sex. Steve Harvey, in their “comedic” fashion, reacted just as if this was the essential answer that is outrageous the planet, using the other participants therefore the market laughing in contract. By doing this, the show promoted the idea that while fat guys can be hot and cuddly, they aren’t to be noticed as intimate beings, let alone “good” at sex.

The facts: the problem with “positive stereotypes” is they automatically alienate anybody who does not participate in those stereotypes. Worse, they alienate whoever desires to be viewed as more than simply the caricature of themsleves painted by culture.

Really the only redeeming quality our tradition permits fat guys — if they aren’t rich or effective, and never also 100% of that time — is the fact that they’re like fluffy bears. Even though many fat guys are certainly “warm and cuddly,” it is harmful to allow them to see this because their only good trait.

Further, exactly what somebody perceives to be “good” or “bad” at intercourse is normally totally subjective and located in individual choice. Ridiculing the idea that fat males could possibly be “good” at intercourse further entrenches systemic fatphobia.

“He Won’t Cheat”: Fat Men Are Too Eager For Like To Be Unfaithful

The misconception: Fat men won’t ever cheat on the partners, the reasoning goes, since they wouldn’t do anything to destroy the “only sure thing” they usually have within their present relationship. This means that, they understand that no body else may wish to be using them.

The reality: To bluntly put it, that is upright incorrect. This dehumanizing survey solution assumes that fatness is inherently correlated with desperation for intimate and attention that is romantic.

As damning as it might be to admit, fat guys are in the same way likely as just about any males to cheat to their lovers. And much more crucially, this misconception posits that fat males are incredibly unattractive, no body will give them to be able to cheat to their lovers, which, once more, can also be drastically wrong to assume.

These five survey answers on Family Feud show the blatant body terrorism fat men are subjected to in our culture as with all myths and stereotypes about a group of people.

Despite just what these fables may have you imagine, fat men’s systems are inherently worthy. They’re also attractive and desirable to numerous other folks. This truth should be so hard n’t to assume, however the proven fact that it absolutely was addressed as a result for a tv series illustrates precisely how profoundly fatphobia has pervaded society.

While you’re watching this episode disturbed and angered me, it is a reminder that individuals have actually substantial strive to do in order to achieve any kind of across-the-board degrees of respect for fat individuals. just then will we manage to make these urban myths and any perceptions that are negative to them obsoleted modes of idea in place of mostly accepted norms.